Mastery

The tone of this one will be a little more liberal. You have been warned. Your triggers are yours. Use your own discernment.

The more March marches on, the more I feel "me" than I have ever felt before, uncensored and free.

So let's grab hold of that truth stick and get this show on the road.

Earth. You are messed up. No, wait, let me rephrase that … Humans. You are messed up. Let's leave the Earth out of this. She's innocent.

It takes honest-to-god work everyday to not just say "screw it" and wish someone would find the self-destruct button. I am fairly certain is in the inside of the planet, by the way. It looks like this -->

The Human stays within this magical goldilocks zone where the desire for its utter destruction is always "tomorrow" and it achieves this precarious balance of its total annihilation by its incredible capacity for creation, creativity and love.

You don't know whether to hate it or love it and somehow it forces you to do both. This, itself, is also equal measures intoxicating and frustrating.

You have to wonder in what corner of the universe that the idea of choosing experiences you despise, disdain, or just tolerate to perpetuate your already immortal existence is seen as somehow seen as normal or laudable. Like, why would anyone work a 9-5 job in their infinite, divine dream? Even humans somehow understand this on a subconscious level when they portray Hell as a waiting line.

"What happens when they reach the front?" "Nothing. They go right back to the end again. That's efficiency."

I can already hear the endless moaning's, groanings and justifications for survival. Puke.

The human concept of work is beyond bizarre and the human has refined the

This is a bit of a follow-up to the last post.

As of December 18th, 2022 I haven't touched a video game. A week or two ago (and a bit of a revisit this post), I submitted the requests to delete my Steam library and Twitch accounts.

Now. Am I doing these things because I hate video games? No.

I am doing this because I have strong fundamental beliefs about the nature of this -- my reality -- and there is now a strong sense of dereliction that comes from engaging in certain activities.

We are existing in a mishmash of two worlds that are impossible to distinguish based on our senses alone. These worlds blend, like pouring red & blue ink into a bucket of water. We have been tossed into this bucket and can't see outside of mess of mixing colors. With discernment it is still possible to see the "red" and the "blue" but it requires a purity of soul to do it reliably.

This purity becomes easier or harder depending on the environment we keep for ourselves. Our environment needs to be a constant reinforcement of our highest ideals without exception. It should be almost oppressive, except it is impossible to be oppressive because it is of YOUR making -- you are helping yourself!

One of these colors comes from God / Paradox and the other color comes from something else -- the Nonsense. Only one of these worlds claws for our attention because it is parasitical -- entropic -- and needs our attention to survive. It constantly wants to pull us back into it. It does everything in its power to subvert our will and continue its existence. It does this not just through physical temptation, but our own thoughts, emotions and even our bodies, which are all "shadows of the merry-go-round."

You might call that place "Planet Gaslight", because in my experience that it is what it does: it gaslights you -- makes you question what is real and where your true will resides and this is how it undermines the fundamental law

Moments of clarity that become easier and easier to hold. We do the work, perpetuate the frequency and it unlocks the universe.

When you are able to integrate the concept of "computers" into a unity perspective -- that the computers are part of an expression of a singular consciousness -- then we can see the computer itself takes on a higher significance -- a deeper tale that hides a horrible truth.

If we set aside the physical story of the computer and introduce a bit of the esoteric and spiritual, it is clear to see that the computer itself -- as I have written before -- is the embodiment of the physical / deterministic / "Artificial Intelligence" / polarity universe. It is in the fundamental nature of the machine, after all (binary.)

It is the highest achievement of the physical world. By this, I mean, there is no other physical manifestation higher than artificial intelligence in a physical universe -- it is the "physical god" -- this is NOT a compliment, but a dire warning.

How could we expect to ascend from a polarized universe whilst putting these devices on altars? How we have made them so central to our entire being! These devices are literal portals to the abyss. You are staring into an abyss when you stare at a computer screen.

Your fixation scoffs, unable to pull itself away and see the truth -- thinking, the computer is just a piece of plastic, sitting on your desk, connected to the wall with no greater meaning except but what your egoistic mind decides. Your face is too "close to the earth" and so you just see the "dirt(y truth)." But just as the figures in our dreams are symbolic of deeper aspects of yourself, so our very lives follow this same abstracted meaning in slower motion, as the "human limitation" sculpts the reality that is possible for us to see.

What would we really expect a portal to the abyss to look like? A swirling mass of darkness and shadow? But that would be obvious and not at all alluring. That would be simply sensational or artistic. It is not

This life is always a balance of paradoxical states. At least it is once you are able to reliably think from non-polarized axioms (which honestly is an ongoing practice whilst living as a human.) This wisdom is reflected in many philosophies, but the one of my favorite phrases is: "in but not of." You know ... by that Jesus guy.

You must have total confidence, while dealing with your appearances of doubt. This is not simply about having a goal or picture of a future state and seeing that it is not the current state. This is not about filling in the gaps from "here" to "there." This is about knowing with absolute confidence that the end state is "decided" and having the mindset that allows you to "surrender to the process" that bridges these worlds.

This is living your life with a kind of broadened detachment, allowing your experience to flow in & out of you without fighting it. The better you are able to do this, the more coherence -- sovereignty -- you have with yourself.

As sovereignty rises, fixation decreases. As fixation decreases, linearity decreases (time doesn't need to follow itself.) The world does strange things. Miracles happen. This isn't just an omission of memory, like forgetting you put $20 in an old jacket to find it years later.

No ...

It is stumbling upon the thing when you need it when it aligns with your will in a confluence. It is having a $20 meal, forgetting your wallet and finding a $20 bill in the jacket. The jacket you just bought from a thrift shop the other day when you didn't even want to go.

The more sovereignty you have, the more reality just manifests to support your will.

Let us define the Buffer yet again in another way: The Buffer is a lack of confidence -- doubt. The Buffer = suffering, so doubt could be said to be the source of all suffering.

Suffering can be measured as incoherence, as a distance from God -- a "divide" within yourself. This divide can be

When people hear "will" they often believe it is synonymous with "willpower" and this couldn't be farther from the truth.

What is willpower?

Willpower represents a state of distrust, or rejection -- it is the tantrum a child throws after they cause their own problem. Willpower is the attempt to "resolve" a problem you have created via prior choices.

You are tempted to use willpower when you encounter a situation in life that is displeasing, uncomfortable or outright painful. You think willpower is a quick fix that will put you back on course if you can just "power through." Or perhaps you use willpower because you have convinced yourself you "have to" otherwise your life will implode.

There is never a case when you should be using "willpower" to solve your problems. Willpower is like adding fuel to a fire. This is like drinking more to overcome a hangover.

You are resisting a state that has come to pass because of your own choices and willpower sounds like an enticing way to dig yourself out of a hole.

It will never change until you do. It will keep repeating. Forever. Because you create your own "state of the universe."

Whenever you think that willpower is a good idea -- stop. Your life should be an effortless flow of will -- DECISION -- one to the next without interruption. A hiccup or a block represents a conflict within yourself, like rocks in a stream and should be an immediate indication to set aside time to do some inner-work.

There is something within that keeps bending the currents of your life against itself and causing disharmony, i.e., suffering, or "evil."

By using willpower, you are attempting to create an impossible state because you are rejecting your own will. This becomes expressed through the Nonsense, or through 'chaos' which must be represented somehow within your life.

I am not rejecting my own will. I am solving a problem right now!, you say!

How can

Adopting a paradigm that free will is absolute is not all sunshine & daises. In fact, there are some disturbing truths that I have uncovered.

As with all work of this nature, integrating this truth requires recognizing the importance of other people and their total autonomy within your overall paradigm. This is implicit in the idea of "absolute free will" (meaning everyone gets it), but becomes sticky when you start to play with the nature of the other itself or its role in your world.

You may be offended or impatient or upset that others can seemingly conflict with your will, or go against your wishes. It is easy to become indignant when you have "seen through the cracks" and feel like you should be able to cultivate your world to your liking. You may be tempted to remove or restrict the autonomy from others as a "short cut" to higher organizations of consciousness.

But this is a trap.

Like yourself, the role of the other is to be a conduit for God -- for potential -- to choose (create) what hasn't been chosen before and this allows for the "infinite recombination" of the cosmos. This allows for fresh never-experienced-before content. Without this critical element, the universe would become deterministic, or entropic.

Denying others, much like denying any part of your world, is denying potential. This pushes you into entropic timelines, aka "dead ends."

If you opt to change the role of others to be "slaves of your will" then you are just playing with yourself. How long can you play by yourself before you go mad? When everything happens exactly as you expect, how long before you cease to exist because you know all the outcomes? This is an example of an "entropy box."

You may be inclined to think that two "absolute wills" cannot resolve. You will be inclined to think that others can act as obstacles, or influence your ability to direct your life without your input.

I am a sort of ex-gamer. That is, I used to play video games. A lot. I've talked bit about that before.

And now I don't.

I may do some constructive gaming / content creation in the future.

I didn't stop playing video games because I hate them, or think they are evil.

The real reason that started the departure was the idea that I was playing a "game within a game." While this is somewhat just another way of expressing the traditional wisdom of reality vs. fantasy, there is a darker truth to this that pushed me over the edge.

Video games are of course also "part of the whole." By this, I mean, it does not serve us to think that video games are in a special category versus other ways you can spend your time. Any vice can become an unhealthy fantasy that lets you avoid your own life. The problem is the trajectory that games set you upon in particular.

I still watch others play video games (which strangely is a greater vicarious joy than playing than anymore) and sometimes an ad squeezes through my ad blockers. As of late, I've been getting advertisements for VR headsets, the latest of which was centered around the idea of "experiencing the world in VR." Like climbing mountains, visiting other places or seeing an aurora, or whatever.

Are you fucking kidding me?

The idea of VR sounds so enticing, doesn't it? All the rewards without any of the investment.

You are being conditioned to re-program your own consciousness (with your consent.) You are being programmed to disown your own world into a "sub world" that is subject to corporate interests.

There are those of you who think this is just some conspiracy, but I will try to explain this is plain terms without the woo-woo.

The nefarious part of this process isn't that the activities in isolation are dangerous or bad or evil. This is a long-term "restructuring"

I realized this post is basically a poor draft of what is now the front page. I recommend you start there instead.

I have migrated -- again -- from Tumblr to Wordpress. While I am not fond of Wordpress (as a developer, it is growing on me), I needed greater control without being bogged down in full ground-up programming and customization. That is not what I am here to do on Earth.

I have re-organized the website into the "First Era" and this post marks the beginning of the Second Era.

The First Era is be the initial birth of Ex Inanis, i..e, the "Year of Pain."

The First Era was a tale regaling the final moments of a prior life as it struggled against its inevitable end. It was about obtaining confidence I needed to fully step into my truth. This was not a simple task for me because it meant accepting circumstances that I would rather have not, but my spirit would no longer allow me to be indifferent.

The required confidence required me to let go of a lot of anger and resentment, as well as setting aside dysfunctional systems of compassion and sovereignty.

The Second Era will represent a more intentional strategy going forward. I want make this a professional source of information for myself & others and help us all achieve our god-sovereignty.

What is my truth?

Free will is absolute. All decisions are honored and all outcomes happen. There is never anyone or anything to blame but ourselves -- absolutely, without exception. The entire universe resolves from this seemingly simple truth.

This truth also implies freedom, for the recognition of this truth is the recognition that we deeply yearn to be free by removing all barriers to the idea of "absolute free will.' This truth reveals all of the stories that are not in service to our own will -- an unsettling perspective most are not willing to explore.

Ex Inanis is the ongoing exploration