A little bit about doubt

This life is always a balance of paradoxical states. At least it is once you are able to reliably think from non-polarized axioms (which honestly is an ongoing practice whilst living as a human.) This wisdom is reflected in many philosophies, but the one of my favorite phrases is: “in but not of.” You know … by that Jesus guy.

You must have total confidence, while dealing with your appearances of doubt. This is not simply about having a goal or picture of a future state and seeing that it is not the current state. This is not about filling in the gaps from “here” to “there.” This is about knowing with absolute confidence that the end state is “decided” and having the mindset that allows you to “surrender to the process” that bridges these worlds.

This is living your life with a kind of broadened detachment, allowing your experience to flow in & out of you without fighting it. The better you are able to do this, the more coherence — sovereignty — you have with yourself.

As sovereignty rises, fixation decreases. As fixation decreases, linearity decreases (time doesn’t need to follow itself.) The world does strange things. Miracles happen. This isn’t just an omission of memory, like forgetting you put $20 in an old jacket to find it years later.

No …

It is stumbling upon the thing when you need it when it aligns with your will in a confluence. It is having a $20 meal, forgetting your wallet and finding a $20 bill in the jacket. The jacket you just bought from a thrift shop the other day when you didn’t even want to go.

The more sovereignty you have, the more reality just manifests to support your will.

Let us define the Buffer yet again in another way: The Buffer is a lack of confidence — doubt. The Buffer = suffering, so doubt could be said to be the source of all suffering.

Suffering can be measured as incoherence, as a distance from God — a “divide” within yourself. This divide can be created in many different ways and is not the subject of this article.

100% coherence, or 100% confidence would not be the merging with God — it would be the harmonization with God, or walking in lock-step with God without BECOMING God. Becoming God would (likely) be the cessation of experience. I often say that I do not think this is the ultimate purpose of life.

Note to self: There is a subtlety trap here that I will talk about in the future that confuses “becoming” or “merging with God.” Can we consider these the same things? It is a trap because we can get stuck “not wanting to be whole” for fear of Grand Narrator.

Only you can decide your purpose, but my work has been about “becoming”, or living without purpose — so the purpose is to be without purpose — to embody this paradoxical ideal that allows us to live life in a kind of effortless flow. In but not of.

You “become the bridge” between the appearance and the destination ; you become a living conduit. The more you master this process, the more the Buffer decreases — the less you need to have a bridge at all.

The purpose of life can be distilled down to “qualia” or experience. What else would there be, as nothingness is a lie of Nonsense. Knowing this, then, we are all in the process of creating “immortal personalities.” How cool is that? We are all becoming unique expressions (without becoming God itself) that play with each other for all time.

There is a gift hidden with doubt and that is that it reveals that you have free will. When you doubt, who is doubting? That is you, the silent observer, choosing between options. Can you see it?

To doubt is to know, with absolute confidence (there is that beautiful paradox!), that you have not yet created this personality because if you did, then you would KNOW and knowing feels very different than doubt. The doubt perfectly illustrates the changes within yourself you must make to remove the doubt, but often we reject this gift, disowning it or giving it away and thereby victimize ourselves.

Doubt reveals where you have have misplaced your will and in so doing reveals your will itself — your true being, as discovered by Mr. Descartes. In the space between your doubt and your observations, you find the silent observer, making choices.

But the famous quote from Rene Descartes is butchered. I believe the quote is more accurate as:

“I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am.”

The doubt is a critical component of this quote. Without the doubt, “I think, therefore I am” instead becomes an indicator of ego, or false will. It is lowering your perspective (fixation) into appearances and becoming lost within the ego (avatar, etc.) Hmm … isn’t that interesting?

I’m sure I’ll talk about doubt some more in the future. I’m going to post this one because I’ve been slack on getting articles up. There is so much to write about that the blogging format is about the only way it will ever get done. Hopefully one day I will have enough done to go back and organize it in a semi professional manner.

Love your doubt. You find ultimate confidence through doubt. It shows you that you ARE and it shows you everything you want to improve with perfect clarity.

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