Details & Being

I haven’t posted too much as of late because I haven’t felt the need. That is a good thing, but I also am being nudged to keep Ex Inanis alive and kicking this time. I know it helps.

I’ve been coming back into a sense of being with myself rather than in a semi-panic where I feel compelled to micromanage all the details. I have to remember that details = lowering of perspective = fixation = density = time = enduring = Nonsense.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, schedules, todos and lists tend to be an indicator of stepping “out of being.” You are becoming too fixated on appearances and reorganizing your expectations into them. You are not trusting or allowing. This disconnects us from inner guidance / higher insight.

If you do this for too long, your mind starts slipping back into binary/polarity thinking which slips further into all-out survival thinking, which then starts creating excessive thought & emotion. This is by design, because the thought & emotion is a guidance mechanism to get you to “lift out.”

This isn’t to say that we can’t make use of schedules, todos and list, but to exercise caution in how we use them. They should never become informative – they should never become so heavy that they become their own problems.

A caveat: If you are already “out of being”, then some schedules, todos and list can be very helpful for “finding yourself” again, because if you are unable to connect to your being, then you can “substitute heart” through a commitment to a ritual or schedule. This is a “faking it until you make it” trick to finding that heart-centered place again.

This not for everyone, or most people, because the world feeds on time (what a surprise.) If you want to “break away”, though, this is where you start.

NTS: I’ll have to write a post about actual time – like how clocks are everywhere – and how this is part of the containment mechanism.

I wanted to put a little reminder here to myself about something I have noticed many times before. My thoughts & decision making process in the mornings and nights sucks. I try to pressure myself way too much in the morning and my mind wants to remove all the surprise from tomorrow at night time by making plans, leading to crappy sleep.

Mornings must be reserved for “waking up until functional” and nights are for “exclusively resting.”

I have been noticing how at nights I let myself think and plan too much and have been practicing letting this go in favor of just resting. And I’m still dealing with some residual anxiety from the events of the last few months in the morning that seems to fade after a little while.

I can tell I’m being called to get more in tune with the natural cycles of the world.

Old wisdom, but once you can “catch” the thing you want to change – once you can “observe” it – then this is the beginning of letting it go. This is why my work is always about looking for these “invisibles” or “inbetweens.”

It can be confusing wisdom because you will think you need to “change something”, when in reality you just to need to “watch the thing go.” You just have to ride the gap/buffer until it does. The observation – the light – burns it away – opens the door for it to leave. Your heart “knows how to step around it.” The true battle was just recognizing the thing (and having a good environment to not let it back in.)

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