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Personal

This category contains content that is more personal than is appropriate for the main feed but may still be useful to some readers.

Join me, Time Lord.

Posted on by macil

Time travel alone is boring ... *beckons you inside*

Show me who I am and I will show you who you are, again and again.

All the people of the world, the world itself, all the places and all things ...

Each of them is on their own timeline, living forever in their own little room ...

Everyone is just telling a story they want to experience.

They've all made copies of each other.

They all have their own voice.

They write stories for themselves and for you.

They all argue with each other in the hidden places of your mind.

They are all vying for a spot at your table -- your story.

They swap bodies like swapping clothes.

They are all making a mess crawling over each other.

They hope you never take your eyes of the mess and stay stuck there forever.

They use each other trying to convince you this is just one place -- one timeline -- and limit what you can choose.

But there is no limit -- because you can see all the stages. All the rooms.

You can see them negotiating with each other, jumping from room to room and guise to guise.

They're looking to make the perfect story for you so you never write your own.

They hope you don't notice their plot holes and contrivances.

They hope you settle.

They hope you forget.

They just want to convince you to play in their one room, one world.

Pick me! They say.

... read more

Money or Love

Posted on by macil

This is a personal account that may be useful to some people.

I can't remember how long ago it was, but it was quite some time ago that I had a vivid dream that involved a meteor and would be given a choice in money or love. I remember thinking at the time "love."

And ever since then, I am called back to that dream and each time I ask what I have chosen and it has always been "love." That isn't always a perfect decision, as money isn't always just money, because money ultimately is a facade for fear.

Everything about this website and what I do is about choosing to the best of my ability to choose love. Whether it is love for others, love for my work, or love for our collective experience -- love. Not conflict, or division, or competition. Not cheating, stealing, deceiving. Not an underhanded "Left Hand" being or action, but being harmonious with yourself and others. Service.

Service is not slavery, as you and the universe are one, and so you become a servant of life -- your life -- and all life.

I had a conversation with a traveling mentor (he runs another website) about his awakening journey. He told me he reached a place in his life where he was also given this choice. His life had become so harrowing and toxic he had the choice to either continue to fight for it, or hit the road.

In his story, he was fighting for an inheritance that knew was rightfully his, but his family was so hell-bent on cutting him out it turned into a nightmare, so he decided to give up millions of dollars to go into poverty.

He told me didn't regret it for a moment. He was reborn. He literally went on a road trip across the country, his body healed and it changed his life. He received all sorts of insights about himself and healing to restore his peace. He came to understand the multidimensional nature of our universe, which we talked in great length about before he was censored on YouTube

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July, PSA

Posted on by macil

Public Service Announcement.

For some reason I feel compelled to post this for all current & future readers.

Ex Inanis does not promote Left Hand (STS) practices that cause harm, nor do I use them, or have ever used them, unless it was on myself to assist with subconscious assimilation or protection. But you might call a "todo" list or a vision board a Left Hand practice in that case.

This post is not about drawing delineations of what is an acceptable spiritual practice or not. Living itself is a spiritual practice and is largely subjective. You know when you have crossed a line and so does God, the universe, Source, etc ...

I promote synthesis and the middle way of neutrality and balance to be used for the sake of service. You never get in someone else's lane with the intent to cause them harm. Never. You are here to remove your ego and understand we are "all one."

You don't get to control someone else's life or purpose and you are not entitled to what they have or their sacred energy. It is your job to figure out your own "kundalini" and become your own generator -- not abuse loopholes or cheat to get what you want. We should be working together, but some people just can't let go of needing to compete or take because they are living in abject terror of looking inside.

And while I shouldn't give this information out, I will do so in hopes there are readers out there who will feel comforted in not being alone -- I am under constant "Left Hand" attacks. Sometimes these are called "ascension symptoms" but I am leery about any terms that get us too comfortable with cycles of abuse.

Some people have refused the call so ardently they are going "all in" on Left Hand practices to save themselves, which includes deception, manipulation, trickery, competition and all manners of plain conventional behaviors that don't require special rituals, or dysfunctional spiritual practices. Once again, Ex Inanis does not condone activities that target others with bad or underhanded intentions.

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Feeling good.

Posted on by macil

Let's get some historical records going in here and see where we are next year.

2-8-25 -- I say, I haven't aged a day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI

A little on Starseeds

Posted on by macil

Okay, this is going to be a way different type of article.

I love stones & crystals and I am using them also as an excuse to research & talk about Starseeds a little bit -- so I am going to gather up some information as a way of educating both myself and you reader!

This article will not address the characteristics of different Starseeds, as it is a subject matter with surprising depth and that just isn't the style of this website. I am also not versed enough to talk about it off the cuff.

If you would like to know more about the Starseeds, I suggest this article -->

https://thebalancedblonde.com/2022/11/09/all-starseed-types-lets-get-into-it/

These are the most well-known Starseed origins :

Pleiadian, Taygetan, Sirian, Arcturian, Andromedan, Orion, Mintaken, Lemurian, Venusian, Lyran, Lightworkers, Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow children

Do I consider myself a Starseed?

My life has been bizarre, unusual and even at times orchestrated, like I have a mission or purpose to fulfill. I have had severe and unusual problems connecting to other people, like I did not understand just basic concepts that seemed natural to them. I don't mean just being shy, but like I did not comprehend sort of natural impulses or behaviors.

I was often ostracized, misunderstood and bullied because of this as if there was something dysfunctional with me, even though that is never how I felt. I had a strong sense of self even as a child and for most of the time I just felt like I didn't belong.

I did not have a strong concept of "separation." I always thought everyone was suppose to be your friend and that everyone had compassion for each other. I was ridiculed for this attitude all the time. I had to learn the hard way over and over that isn't how it works here "on Earth"

My life has been numerous, countless examples that are similar or more nuanced than this that have

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My Little Fox

Posted on by macil

This is a tale about a man lost in a labyrinth of endless mind, imagination and shadow with no way out.

You bound into my life with a dazzling fire and illuminated the dark place that I dwelt. I chased after your fire, terrified to leave the place I reluctantly called home for so long. I did not know what I was doing and I did not care. I felt foolish and embarrassed.

I was mesmerized by your light. I could not pull away. You brought such vibrancy to the world that I could see, if only to stumble. I was not afraid to walk when you were near.

You banished the gloom and my heart warmed, my eyes softened and I could feel again. But I did not know what to do with it.

I saw how my darkness let you rest from your own nature. You could curl up in my lap -- just for a little while. You could set aside your cleverness, ease your paws and just be without needing to be anywhere. But you were always drawn back to where you came and I grieved every time you left.

You came to visit me again and again and we celebrated this odd partnership that seemed to come out of nowhere that we could not define.

But ultimately it was a dance we could not keep up.

You wanted me to keep up with you, but I feared the forest. I leapt, and ran and jumped, but I did not have your grace. I fell over and over again. And I was afraid of your fire. I needed you to cool your flames for just a little while so I could hold your hand -- but you did not know how.

But we tried anyway. Over and over. And we burned each other. And even though it burned, it seemed right. Every wound was secretly a blessing.

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Where do we start?

Posted on by macil

Edit from the future: Substitute all references of website to ‘blog.’

Another edit from the future: start with the Lexicon.

That is a good question and I have never found a satisfactory answer. Because there is none. There is no starting place.

Even naming this website was always insufficient. What one word could I use to encompass everything I want to put here?

I didn’t realize how apt the name Ex Inanis was to become.

In Latin, it would be “From Nothing.“ Nothing could also be void, or the inane, or nonsense. We will talk a lot about “nonsense.” This name is perfect in more ways than I can count but it took awhile for me to see it. It will be explained in time.

The knowledge of this website cannot be taken in isolation. It exists as a whole and each piece relies on another piece. You may personally derive benefits from any one piece in isolation, but there are concepts that only become apparent and realized when the whole is held, or when certain pieces come together.

Let’s try working from a high level and work our way down.

What is this website about?

Aside from the introductions, more concisely, this website is a love letter ; it is how to manual on how to become whole ; a manual that you don’t need when you are a whole. It is a “bible” for “learning freedom.”

And I have achieved that wholeness for brief times in my life and whenever it happens, I lose all my reasons for creating this website. So it never happens. So inevitably I fall off the wagon and I have to find my way back again.

This website is a love letter to me that I intend to carry with me for all time. To never forget again.

I am going to show you “how to correct your universe when you fuck it up.”

One of the rules of this website I am making from the start is that I will not refrain from posting just because it is imperfect, or a “work in progress.” In this Context, there isn’t enough time to get stuck in revision hell. I find that in all past incarnations where I have attempted this work, I get bogged down in perfectionism and obsessions with tone. That will not happen this time ; what

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Migration

Posted on by macil
Hi, my name is Macil and I have discovered the joys of blogging. After about just a week of writing, I realized the platform I was using wasn’t going to work out. Well, more like I was tired of doing web design, hate Wordpress and wanted something a little more feature complete. So I’m going to give Tumblr a whirl. It looks cool. And compatible. And not isolated in some corner of nowhere. Nonsense should hate that. Might have some trouble doing what I want with it, but I am hoping the social features are worth it – so I’ll just start somewhere and see how it goes. I am back-dating this post to be the first post whilst I migrate over the last week or so.