Borrowed Power

Today’s lesson: do not borrow power. What does this mean?

Borrowing ideas without the proper contemplation upon them will cause widespread devastation in your life — including your mind, body and soul. This is because, as beings, we are too complicated to be “patched” in this fashion. The soul cannot be mended with bandaids. You cannot manage your consciousness with an “off the shelf” solution and expect good results. Imagine replacing the tire on a car with a bicycle wheel, or a block of wood — or imagine you build the foundation of your house out of cheap plastic rather than stone — this is what you are doing when you take any ideas from outside of you and begin to utilize them without proper incorporation.

No one can avoid the contemplation that is required to digest new information or experiences, but humanity has always looked for outside saviors or answers. There is always another replacement altar to explain the circumstances of our existence and these altars just become more and more convoluted and ridiculous as time wears on. These altars all have the same things in common: they go to great lengths to deny our essence as gods. If “gods” is too strong a term for you (the “fear” of being a god is an example of altar you might be holding onto that allows you the perception of being a mere human), perhaps you would be more comfortable with “creator”, or “artist”, or “author.”

A universal feature of Nonsense is that it is life or qualia-denying in some fashion. It destroys or avoids life through literal nonsense or “garbage.” It begins with qualia denial — deception — of one’s experience and from there begins to concoct an abyss of stories for which it uses as a cloak to hide. These stories will lead you nowhere except in circles. In the worst cases, it can become a Stockholm’s Syndrome, where the denial is systematized or made normal, thus creating highly customized “prisons” which generally are also infectious (they create adherents / assimilate / imprison others.)

It is critical to deny stories which you do not wish to have power over you and understand why they do not have power over you.

Each mind must make its own truth and its own vehicles of integration (the nature of your relationship with God, reality, others, etc.) based upon the feedback/knowledge of itself which is not available to anything outside of you. Do you really think that something OTHER than yourself could fashion the correct tools to maintenance or make revisions to YOU? If you do not have perfect understanding of yourself, how would you expect anyone else? It is impossible.

Did you notice how the word ALTER and ALTAR are the same word? This is because ALTARS ALTER you — they provide places upon which you condition or customize your reality.

Note that this article is not how we can bridge the gap between ourselves and “the other” — which is done through compassion. Compassion is the hatch which “opens the bubble” — but that is another article.

Reality is always reflecting you back to you, because you cannot escape your own inputs & outputs. (This does not mean others are you. This means others align to you to fulfill the roles of the story you are creating. And similarly you fulfill a role in their story. As you manifest them, they manifest you in perfect alignment.) Reality is not necessarily a perfect mirror (and this is for a variety of reasons.) Rather, it would be more accurate to describe it as what you “need to see.” That is, what you see is where you have hidden away your will.

Denial of this fact will simply perpetuate your state of affairs. Denial, rather than acceptance or taking responsibility, is just an admission that these things have power over you which you cannot or do not want to change and thus your wish of powerlessness is granted. That is how powerlessness feels or is experienced. These commitments are not just superficial but are intertwined into the reality itself.

Nothing in your experience is “separate” from you, including your own body — it is part of the qualia/experience that unfolds before you. When you truly understand this concept, then there is nothing to worry about, because everything you experience can unequivocally be traced back to you — so you are always “secure in yourself.” If you live everyday “without leaving doubt”, then your reality will also reflect this.

What makes this all the more challenging is the concept that I throw around here called THE BUFFER. The buffer can be considered all the commitments you have which create time for yourself. This can be obvious like setting a date in the future and less obvious like the belief, expectation or feeling of inevitability in that date coming to pass. (What I call Lingering is allowing thoughts or energies to persist even after they are no longer useful.) Often there are hundreds of hidden automated commitments that do not reveal themselves until we ask questions, develop the proper discernment and go looking for them. Anything you believe is “inevitable” is a strong commitment for which influences your reality.

Can you challenge such strong commitments? Yes. Absolutely! That is a core idea I push. But it requires a commitment of equal strength. Such a commitment can be created via will, strong coherence (very cogent personal story which disarms the commitment), or persistence. Some combination of all three is usually required. There may also be a case for creating temporary scaffolding which can be used to “test” a commitment for change. Having a wishy-washy attitude about the possibility will be insufficient to move these barriers and will in fact likely cause problems for you. Indecision creates a variance that causes unpredictable and recurrent problems.

Your qualia is an unfolding of your own story by which your capabilities within the moment you are experience are decided by INVESTMENTS you have made prior. You have strong commitments that you are able to manipulate your reality with your hands and feet, but weak or non-existent commitments that you can move objects with your mind. Similarly, if you are often happy, or sad, or perhaps unstable and bounce between these — you have commitments which produce these experience within your “moving window of reality.”

The degree to which you can exercise your will is determined by your prior commitments/paradigm, so if you have no confidence that you can do X, Y, Z, then it will not happen — and in fact reality may actively sabotage your effort or dissuade you from continuing in a way that is believable and charming.

What are INVESTMENTS? Investments are the all the ways in which you have opened the door for your will to be used and subsequently how you use it (invest it.) So for most of us this means thought, emotion, action — but adepts will include the guardianship of their inputs & outputs and likely also have strong commitments that they can affect the world outside of their senses, aka, things like “manifestation” or “destiny” which gives them edges over normal folks who are just carried by the “physical unfolding.”

This “moving window” is not so much a window as much as a pool for which is constantly filling up and emptying out. Imagine you are standing in this pool which appears like prismatic water — where all the different colors represent different feelings, emotions — energies. All of us at heart are storytellers — authors — and our storyteller is better than every bestselling author who ever lived. Any story can be written and is constantly being written without your attention or penmanship. There is no true interruption of this story — even sleep is just part of the story where the story becomes more flexible. The “storyteller” gobbles up this pool without end and the pool is also renewed without end (from God.)

The stories we write can include any number of beginnings, endings, retcons, revisions and more. With effort, even existing stories can be re-written so that any outcome becomes believable. History is, after all, just another story with a commitment to the idea that “it is past/true and unchangeable.” When you truly understand this, then you understand that “anything can be rationalized, justified or made believable.” This is the truth of the “abyss” or even the truth of God. Life “cannot be escaped” — there is no Matrix, just yourself — it can only be written differently.

As you imagine, this knowledge can be used for both great good and great evil.

Without this “pool”, you would just be raw awareness — God. But the awareness cannot perceive itself or exist or make decisions without this pool — so the pool and the “I” are inexorable. But it is the pool itself that is inexorable — not the contents. The contents we control and the contents are what shape the experience we have.

No one gets to decide what is in this pool but you. No one. Seriously. I mean this. Not a single fucking person gets to touch this pool without your permission. Start figuring out how to monitor your inputs & outputs right now.

The goals of Ex Inanis and other philosophies — whether they realize or not — is to alter the contents of this pool to achieve immortality. It is also about learning to clearly discern when anything attempts to screw with this pool other than you. Immortality being a way to “be God without being God” because we can never be God. It is a transient self that knows it is “The Traveler” and can don and shed identities like breathing.

God himself would realize he cannot exist without limitations and thus limitations become a kind of eternal absolute — thus spiritual work that deals with the idea of “returning to God” is, as I often say, “less right.” God is an ephemeral moment that represents omnipotence and omniscience — perceivable even as humans — and such a being would be unable to experience or make decision. It is nonsensical. There is nothing to decide — it is “all done.” A decision requires an ability to weigh between positions which God cannot do because “he is all positions.”

To experience God is to experience a moment of pure “I AM” which allows us to perceive the “state of totality.” This is always within us as a sense of intuition or compass — it is not a state we need to “live in” because that would be impossible. The compass is always changing direction, so getting enamored with a past/singular experience of God is foolish.

Some humans think that there are aspects of this pool that are out of our reach. But this too is a story and so this kind of defeatism just leads to stasis. If we are immortal, divine beings — and we are — then eternity is a very long time and change does not happen unless choices are made and put forward. Or rather, it is possible to loop ourselves by making the same choices.

To believe in a status quo because changing it is too difficult is just to lock yourself into a perpetual prison. The scope of this “status quo” is limitless. It does not end with your nature as a human, or your place in a “planet” called “Earth.” This is also a condemnation of any investment that “compromises” with evil — two evils can never produce a good. They can only perpetuate the same investment or “kick the can.” If you do not address the seed, you are only treating symptoms.

This deserves its own article but bares a brief mention here: there are quite a few belief systems floating around right now that seem to be acting as as wardens/gatekeepers to those who are awakening that insist on non-action — or non-involvement — in your own life, not understanding that this is also an investment. There is no such thing as “non-involvement.” It is impossible by the nature of consciousness. They have handy explanations for the quirky phenomenon you are likely experiencing and insisting that you sit around and “wait for a savior.” This creates complacency as you wait around for some event or rescue of your circumstances and eventually Groundhog’s Day which is also likely to lead you to anger & resentment when you get tired of waiting.

Humans have so many problems because they cannot see beyond the scope of the “human problem” and so other humans become problems — humans (HUE MANS, light, prism/prison) — for which become their prison wardens. To escape this problem, we must endeavor to see our fellow humans as part of ourselves, even if they stand on their own ; there can be no doubt in our minds that humans are not our adversaries. If we see enemies, we create them via investment and our wishes are always fulfilled. Crusades and righteousness are born when we become so committed to the idea of destroying evil that we “forget ourselves” (be careful for what you wish for) and instead via the rule of investment — create evil by our fixation on it.

Heaven is born from a collective of self-sovereign individuals and cannot be imposed in reverse — Heaven cannot be created via a decree of the collective good, but must be agreed upon by individuals who have “done the work” — who have secured their unbreakable connection to God and crystalized their eternal “traveler” and allow no altars between them and that relationship. Those who wish to interpose upon that relationship — between you and God — between you and your life — are agents that serve the Nonsense — the anti-life. These can be real people or “daemons” of your own mind. How you treat them should be exactly the same.

In multitasking computer operating systems, a daemon (/ˈdiːmən/ or /ˈdeɪmən/)[1] is a computer program that runs as a background process, rather than being under the direct control of an interactive user.

You may be thinking well this is easy — I am my own person — I do not subscribe to other stories. What needs to be made abundantly clear is that it is possible to borrow power on “accident.” If you continually re-invest into stories — say, you enjoy reading a particular blog, or a newsletter — or you have a habit you can’t kick — or you keep making decisions from a particular frame of mind or orientation — perhaps you are creating boogeymen for which you need to constantly battle rather than just disarming the boogeymen — then you can re-assimilate stories or “power” you thought you had gotten rid of and create a cyclical situation of destruction/construction which will drive you crazy while you attempt to identify the cause of this “disharmony” which are hiding from yourself.

It is often easy enough to identify physical sources of “bad investment” ; a little more difficult to identify bad mental patterns ; and extremely difficult to uncover hidden/automated commitments. Ex Inanis chiefly is concerned with the very last of these: the hidden commitments that evade detection and often require extraordinary circumstances to reveal themselves. This is where the “foundations of soul” reside that often require tweaking. When these are identified, we can create new commitments that deal with removing the old and introducing the new.

These are often hard to discover because of “buffer blinding” which causes us to be on “replay”– our time commitments create experiences which can obscure truth and thus require faith/acceptance and “overwriting” to correct (this needs its own article.) Solutions “do not exist” when we are under this blinding but “come out of nowhere” when we emerge on the other side.

Sovereignty and confidence can provide an ILLUSION of control if we are not aware of our “true self” — our traveler self — where we enter into repeating patterns of creating enemies, knocking them down and then creating them again — victimizing ourselves. There are layers and layers of victimization in the human collective, even amongst the most awakened. Sometimes the awakened become the most deluded because their stories become so elaborate they regard them as ultimate truth simply because they seem to “make sense of the abyss.” Such individuals often become “false prophets” or become drunk on their own truth. These people can be dangerous because all of us are always sharing our stories. This is why I often repeat my disclaimer. It is imperative to have a sense of our true self to avoid this — to avoid making “reactionary” or “reflex” investments, which would be closer to what an animal might do.

Everyone does this process — acquire new info./experience, integrate it, practice it, revise for error, repeat — whether they know it or not — but Ex Inanis is concerned with elevating/optimizing this process more consciously, with lucid intention as well as pushing and seeing if we can break this process.

I’ve been lazy and I wanted to get this done as a step to getting back into a writing groove. That’s enough for now. I am examining opening up the blog to commentary and starting sister posts on Gab & Substack.

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