So much of what I try to write about is the value of surrender & faith and when it comes to the concepts of judgement and knowledge this is no different.
You are a non-stop function of judgement bringing down weights upon reality. Your very existence is an endless gaze which creates waves, or ripples, or density, upon a weightless fabric that we call creation. You cannot exist in a state of total non-judgement, or you would be God / the universe itself.
Just being, breathing and living represents the cosmic limitations which are “judgements” that shape the boundaries of your reality.
It is therefore your responsibility to wield this awesome power with as little impact as possible — to become as light as a feather — to make yourself buoyant and sail across the sea of potential, letting the winds of God, Source, Universe, spirit, intuition — whatever floats your boat — guide you.
The more you spend time upon the same observations, the more you fixate — the more you pile on the weight and create disturbances in this weightless fabric, like a building tide. The more you focus, the more you churn the sea or sail towards storms.
Everything about your experience is created via a combination of these weights, so all of experience is a mixture or collaboration of judgements between yourself and others. Including the idea of the Other itself.
Everything except love has a weight. And by everything I mean everything. Your idea of a physical world is an extremely complicated set of judgements producing that experience.
For example …
The actual “weight” or “heaviness” of objects is part of your gaze. Look around yourself and feel the different weights of things in your mind. Does that potted plant feel heavy? Does that pen on your desk feel light? Do you see how you are holding this story within yourself?
Does the atmosphere around you feel light or heavy? If you cannot tell, can you remember a time when you felt different? Did the world look different as a kid, versus as an adult? What has changed in the “atmosphere” of these places? And who is persisting it?
What about the sense of solidarity or permeability of an object? What about its distance from you? What about the memories you associate with it? These all have feelings or signatures.
What about the relationships themselves? Why are you agreeing that there is gravity at all or that a rock is heavy and a feather is light?
When you lift an object, why do you have an expectation of weight or gravity? Because the “world” told you — or did it simply suggest it — and have agreed with it for so long you no longer think about it? Why or why not is the world “apart” from you and do you also see however you answer this, it is still yours?
The correct answer is because it remains useful to your experience, not because it is a product of a physical world that has authority over you.
History? Where did you learn that? A person? A book? Your actual experience? And where did they learn it, or write it and so on? But now we are getting into questions of trust because at some point you have to stop looking without further verification — otherwise you will simply unwind all of creation. So what is it at that point but a point of decision of yours — a point of k(NO)wledge you have decided (to stop looking — to omit — to give to the unknown) that forms the bounds of your window whether you are consciously aware of it or not?
Do you think that knowledge doesn’t exist simply because you haven’t consciously decided to question it or are aware of it? Yet you give consent to it, regardless.
All observations are synonymous with an ongoing choice you are making that you simply sometimes choose to forget or subsume. Does that give you clues about the larger nature of reality in terms of remembering and forgetting?
As I wrote about in The Spirit of the Adventurer, you are always choosing what you value (and remember.) So do you really still believe you are going to die someday, or is it that death represents a kind of critical meltdown that either results in fusion (remembering and immortality) or fission (forgetting and mortality)?
How, then, all things in your world, your life, are your choices, down to your body and the stars in the sky, even if they are outside the scope of your current perception, or so deeply ingrained it may take you lifetimes to unravel them.
Yet if you don’t try or examine them, how long will they remain there? And if you do try, how do you try? Doesn’t the how matter? Don’t we want our “hows” to have as little dependence upon a seemingly external reality as possible lest we get swept away all over again?
Many emotions have a sense of weight to us because this is how we have taught ourselves to create a priority order to our reality experience. Emotions we want to feel less are heavier because we want to show ourselves how to not create them because they create less stability or more stagnation — more death.
So over lifetimes, for example, we create a very heavy weight out of anger or hatred because these tend to be destructive (separating, veiling, forgetting) and when we create these feelings, we are adding that “density” into our experience.
And what about others? What stories do you tell yourself about them? What do you take for granted, or make exceptions about? What is acceptable or unacceptable to you? Why do they have agency at all? What gives them power over you or your existence? Do you value them having this power? If so, how much or how little?
Do you let them decide on your relationships? Your definitions? Your meaning? Do people you know feel “light” or “heavy” to you? Maybe ask yourself why.
All of your reality is a combination of these ideas. All of reality reflects these weights in our experience of it. But it is our job to see past these weights.
Why does the word “no” sound like “know?” No is necessarily a self-imposed boundary, just as k(no)wledge is. You are the holder and decider of knowledge, or judgement, whether you wish to be or not. What is subjective, or objective, is your decision. And why does decision sound like incision — or a place where a boundary is made?
decision(n.)mid-15c., decisioun, “act of deciding,” from Old French décision (14c.), from Latin decisionem (nominative decisio) “a decision, settlement, agreement,” noun of action from past-participle stem of decidere “to decide, determine,” literally “to cut off,” from de “off” (see de-) + caedere “to cut” (from PIE root *kae-id- “to strike”).
https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=decision
Contrary to some popular spiritual circles, it is not possible to exist in a state of “not k(no)wing.” That is not the goal of your spiritual evolution as then you would become God or the Universe (you would die and “Big Bang” yourself back into existence, not unlike whenever you sleep, or dream, or go through transitions of consciousness like being born — a flash, or a fade to black, representing a transition.)
Sleep and dreams are much more than your “brain” doing reviews & garbage collection. They are you literally re-arranging time with all of creation in alignment to your desires.
The very act of you (like a performance on stage) existence represents a “no” — or a collection of limitations that allow your experience to even be possible.
You can “know” that you are not becoming or returning to God because eternity is a “very large space.” So large that it would immediately gobble up your experience right now if you were to know everything or know nothing and then what would you do? Be born again. Because there is no such thing as “no-thing.” Oops!
You can add this to the list of how you know you are immortal — because if you are not everything and not nothing, then you are eternally in between. And what is holding you there in-between, stopping you from falling into the maw of infinity? The only thing that stops you from remembering is you (and whatever you have given power over your game.)
In other words, because you don’t blink out of existence right at this very moment, you know you can never die, otherwise you become “everything & nothing.” Gravity is the singularity of yourself — keeping you alive and having an experience of you. The stability or lucidity of your experience at this very moment is proof of your immortality. You may as well claim ownership over it.
You can never stop playing this game. You can only forget by putting more of yourself into the potential or unknown.
Your objective as a living soul is not to remove all the “nos” (to know nothing, or know everything / to die — dye, turn black, to omit or block out — forget your boundaries), but to accept and value your limitations which returns the un-k(no)wn or potential to your universe without which you are drunk (lost, unconscious, without a crown, in abdication, a slave) and subject to the endless stream of “k(no)wledge (like a shelf or place to grip)” upon which reality brings down upon your experience.
Heaven is a place that is created by an organic emergence of self-sovereignty creating a co-creative dream space or consciousness continuum.
When you are drunk, you are simply a victim to your own stream of choices, because you see them as no longer of part of the reality that you can affect.
What we need to talk about next is Origination and Abdication.
Origination. What is origination? It is understanding that no matter where you wake up, no matter where you find yourself, whether you have the perspective of one person, a hundred people, whether you are behind your eyes, or above your head, leading an army, whether you are an animal, a rock or a galaxy, you will always have the “origin” of your experience that is you. This is not your ego, which is contextual and transitory to your experience.
Abdication is simple to convey, but very hard to master and it isn’t exactly a new concept to the blog. Abdication is the rejection of Origination ; the rejection your own choices. The rejection of the endless light. It is hard to master because you must broaden your scope of what constitutes your choice.
It must also be understood within the concepts of Unity and Buffer, amongst others, that we discuss on this blog.
Your need to “control” represents a rejection — an abdication — a sleight of hand upon reality that is already unfolding upon prior decisions you have made — that you have observed and brought into reality. As I said, all of reality is a disturbance upon the weightless fabric of reality — experience is a “spring” — a wave going up and down, that comes from the eternal “flatness (love).”
Your life is an after image — a trail — “a-(wake)” — for which you are deciding right now. You have re-arranged this weightless fabric to put your instantaneous decisions upon the invisible shadowy place of your mind so you can enjoy the “space” in between. So you can see (sea) yourself from a different perspective.
“Control” represents a dam or blockage — a stoppage in the flow, or a rock in the river. In other words, a “k(no)wing” — a judgement. What you control is what you block or what limitations you are willingly assimilating within yourself.
What happens when this judgement is brought upon the Other? The Other is inherently a concept with which we believe possesses its own agency, but this is not wholly true.
You should first review The Mirrored Path for no one can usurp you from your throne, or cut down your tree, or invade your home even if you let them. It is Abdication when you forget this. You are inexorably bound to yourself and so it is you that decides whether agency is something you value or not.
Humans block agency all the time. Anytime you must arrange to interact with the Other, it is always a negotiation of varying degrees of agency. Do you have time on Monday at 12PM, or do you have to compromise? Do you answer that call, or let it go? Do you extend a hand, or turn a blind eye?
No esoteric required here, even though it is very esoteric when you understand how deeply your reality unfolds simply based on your intentions and thought because there is no time or space in this granting or revoking of agency. Whoever you allow to roam free, even if it is simply in the recesses of your haunted mind — will produce contributions — or distortions — to your reality that will arrive in your physical reality like magic.
That is also not an evaluation of agency. We enjoy letting go of control to outside forces, like riding a roller coaster and this includes other people.
If you are the only being in all of creation, would that be an interesting experience? What about a possible experience? What about if you were all beings? What if you were just a human? What do the rules — the perspectives — of these games look like?
You exist in a kind of “after image” of reality (A-WAKE!) Your living reality is the window or box for which you have previously crafted to play within — the objective rules — for which you must currently obey (but which are always shifting and changing, even now in your so-called “human” experience.) You are laying the tracks instantly in the void of your mind that you will have to eventually have to ride.
Notice how the boat “splits” the world as it moves …
Karma? Consequences? You might describe it as that, but these words come with a lot of preconceptions and are insufficient with what I am trying to convey to you. Imagine in each moment of your life, you are creating the entire universe from scratch as a collection of free will choices. Forever.
How would you ever have an experience other than being human if you weren’t first open to the concept? You would be perpetually stuck in the box of “humaning.” Who decides when you have had “enough” if you don’t make the decision yourself? And if you are going to make that decision, what kind of universe are you going to make next? Maybe you should be a little concerned about your design.
Abdication is forgetting Origination. It is becoming fixated within choices you have made, believing you did not make them or have no power over them — that you have abdicated from them — and should be distinguished from a conscious choice to grant the Other, or other forces, agency to play your game for which you willingly surrender yourself to experience. Abdication is believing the Other has the power to decide its own agency in the first place without you first granting it.
How you decide to experience this universe is a measurement of integrity of your paradigm — your harmony or the flow of the universe (God, Source, all the aspects Seen & Unseen to you) going through you. How optimized your “output” of creation is without what you would consider “error” — what causes you to “die”, forget or lose “power.” To move closer to death, or rebirth.
“I am Grey. I stand between the candle and the star. We are Grey. We stand between the darkness and the light.“
– Grey Council greeting
If you wished to experience being an all-powerful tyrant suppressing all agency, then you must be able to fully embody and revel in the idea without any reservations. However, your entire world would be molded to fit that experience and it would be very difficult, or arduous, to escape or undo. And that must be a consideration for any commitments you make. What corner am I painting myself into? Do I really want all of my power in a single ring, or a single world? How do I leave such a place once there?
Why not adopt a paradigm that can encompass all experiences, heroic and villainous? You are already living the beginnings of one. Right now. How can we watch a movie about villains and become lost in the thrill, yet as the credits roll we come right home to ourselves as if it didn’t happen?
Humans are already in the process of elevating themselves to the next level of consciousness as they create games, movies, television as ways of showing themselves how they are both unified, yet “not the lives” they inhabit and in so doing come into greater and greater coherence. In but not of. It is a subtle knowing bubbling to the surface of everyone’s consciousness in everything they create.
Here is the etymology of the word “control” –>
early 15c., countrollen, “check the accuracy of, verify; regulate,” from Anglo-French contreroller “exert authority,” from Medieval Latin contrarotulus “a counter, register,” from Latin contra “against” (see contra) + rotulus, diminutive of rota “wheel” (see roll (n.)). The word apparently comes from a medieval method of checking accounts by a duplicate register.
https://www.etymonline.com/word/control
How do you “verify” anything about The Other without violating their free will? How do you “check the accuracy” of The Other without involving more Others? How do you do any of this without violating their knowing, their meanings, their definitions, or corrupting them with your own assumptions — your own limited perspective? Only through mutual consent which is created from a place of knowing yourself from where you will meet everyone else who also knows themselves without needing to know anything about them. Spontaneous and self-emergent.
How do we achieve consent? There is only one way: through unconditional love — allowance. Consent = allowance. Surrender. Faith. “Non judgement.” When you see the judgement, you release it, or allow it and so it continues on down the river to go where it needs to go — whether that is based on your omnipotent will you have hidden all over the place in the unknown, or a function of co-creators whom you are agreeing (or not) to participate with — what is the informative difference? There is none.
Love & allowance inherently begins with the self, so do not believe this means you simply roll over to whatever the world throws at you, or that you can simply “love your problems away.” Love and light is the state we aspire to hold within, not the magic wand we use to bypass the world’s proble — ahem, challenges.
I am attempting to convey states, signatures and “flows” that you can feel within yourself that are hidden which represent what is going on in the actual universe of your experience. I want to show you how you can liberate yourself, imprison yourself, or set yourself upon that roller coaster.
When you are faced with a problem, or a challenge, it is arising within your experience to allow you a new point of decision — do you handle it the same, or do something different?
Our own role is so often omitted in spiritually bypassing, wrong-think, self-sacrifice, righteous causes, or unworthiness and victimization. The true self is mistaken for or omitted for “ego.” Your ego is what causes abdication, resistance, or blockage — a counter-force to life. A an adaptive mimicking Nonsense that obstructs everything you do. The ego is what wishes to remain unchanging, or stagnant and the first thing that is thrown out is agency — both yours and Others.
Service to life — all life, yours included — provides you the well-spring which guides your actions. In the intersection of this understanding you will find the places without conflict as you naturally gravitate towards only what is consensual (for that is the garden you are planting) and see all others places as places of abdication.
When consent is removed, so too are the bridges which make mutual reality possible, like creating a rip in reality ; it lets in a stifling, suffocating and seemingly (but falsely) intelligent force that seeks to counter you ; to separate and divide ; a corruption so vividly described in fantasy stories. A theft or death of life itself — a pact to nothingness that gradually strangles all light.
You will become isolated into your own realm, adrift in a storm that clouds your visibility, despite all ideas that you are still in the same pot or ocean as others. You can experience this isolation even in a crowded room, for the Other then represents the bars of your self-constructed prison — themselves the fog or sheets of rain for which you cannot see past.
The storm becomes anything it needs to be to create a convincing reality for you.
Consent is never destroyed so thoroughly as it is with deception, which always begins with the self. Didn’t you know you also must have consent with yourself? That you must give yourself permission? To live, to love, to dream? And how then this is also a clue on what is ego and what is truly you? If you are deceiving yourself, you cannot be truthful with others.
To know that the world, or ourselves, are a just an appearance is not knowledge we use as a weapon. We do not use guises, or deception, or mutability as a way of bypassing, hacking, cheating and especially not for instruction — for when we do so we only plant those seeds for ourselves for which we must later reap. If you truly understand Unity, then you know that you cannot make arbitrary delineations to it to give rationality to the transitory and linear ego and its suggestions (the ego cannot make decisions, only you can) — which are contextual (not you) — if you ever wish to ascend to the multidimensional.
Are you sitting in a space of misery or depression? Are you blaming the world or the Other? Do you feel a sense of imprisonment? Entrapment? Sorrow? Doom? That that is what you are creating and it will be reflected back to you over and over, perfectly convincing you it is not your fault. Your reality will never stop telling you perfect believable stories and give you any rationalization you need to persist in your stable and convincing reality to allow you have your experience — because you are immortal and eternal — until you say ENOUGH!
You are deciding where the boundaries for your own will begin and end. When and where are you giving up your power to an idea and telling yourself: “This controls my fate”, or “There is nothing I can do about this.” It is often subtle, and evasive, particularly when we are faced with powers that seem or suggest that they are more powerful than we are. Wherever that place is — whatever you have elevated above God — whether it is flesh, or people, spirit or mind — even if it is your own ideals — is the place where you will die, because you have Abdicated yourself into it and forgotten what you truly are.
This same truth extends in all directions from wherever you fixate and no matter how you increase or decrease your scope — your vantage point. You are always crafting the box within which you operate.
Is it the world’s fault? Another person’s? Nature? God?
“Your self?“
You are deciding on your relationship to all of these ideas, so aren’t you then also responsible for their impact upon your life? Your connection to them? How can “someone else” or “something else” or even “whatever I am” decide on your relationship to anything, when your connection to that someone or something is also there within you?
Are you removing your hand from the box, or is it the pain for which you have elevated above yourself as your new master?
How else would experience be created without someone choosing to create it somewhere along the line (Origination)?
Take the concept of determinism — that you have no choice. Then that is your game. What does the life of a determinist look like? Wouldn’t it look like a constant reinforcement of how they have no choice everywhere they look? And ironically — in this resignation-submission to such an absurd idea — the expression itself becomes a function of, well, someone’s choice somewhere even if they have given their only choice away.
Whether that choice is to some nebulous all-consuming oppressor (like the demiurge/devil, or the government, or an ex), an experience generator (the brain, the unconscious, the matrix, the simulation), unseen enemies or administrators or elite (the greys, the archons, the cabal), whether it is -isms or -ologies, God, or an indifferent universe.
At the center is always you & choice.
It is exploitation when you always worry about when it will stop — and it is exaltation when you enjoy the ride. Somewhere in there is your choice whether you decide to claim it or give it up.
When you have reached Origination, you will discover surrender & faith, because you will no longer care about the past or future. You will reclaim your throne. Remember: yesterday = no forgiveness, tomorrow = no hope / no escape. Only now allows you to be. That is the only place where you find life.
You will discover how meaningless time is and how only love matters. You will only care about becoming congruent or harmonious or finding peace within yourself. And you will do what you need to do in order to secure that peace which means finding “k(no)wing.”
Alright, this article has been in the wings for long enough and there is always more to write. Out, out!