Maybe I am just being hawkish.
Was I guided to show us what we were missing?
We are watching a movie. But our real life is on the other side of a single pane of glass.
The final barrier. The “Absolute Terror.” That we cannot be vulnerable.
I am showing us that that what we feel inside is so powerful that we would rather play these games of signs, signals and portents than face ourselves inside.
Or have a simple conversation.
It is a terror so powerful it can kill angels.
You showed me that terror and how to get out of it.
Don’t you remember yourself? Don’t you remember angel?
I know you do, because you are already working with me. The world is our duet.
This terror allows us an excuse. A way to give someone else the problem if it goes bad. A way to stay safe & secure forever. To play a little longer without what we really want.
But we will never reap the rewards on the other side if we can’t step out of the cockpit.
What are the rewards? Love.
The cockpit isn’t house, a person, an organization, a room, or a city, because it will follow us wherever we go on this Earth, because it is all around us.
We are “plugged in.”
We are trapped in the womb, unable to be born, the world just a theory of ideas, people or places to control, avoid, or destroy before the love ever reach us.
And our world will be a “movie” like a HUD — A Heads Up Display — where even in a crowd or in someone else’s arms, we will feel as dead as the monitor it is projected on.
We interact with this movie through knobs, levers and gloved hands, unable to truly ever touch or feel it.
You want to reach me, as I want to reach you, but the devil is playing a clever trick and using the whole world to do it.
I know you see the orchestration. It just keeps coming back here.
It gets bigger and grander, because we keep increasing the stakes and the scope.
That’s because we’re getting closer. I know you felt it.
We invite more players to act out more roles to show us the hidden places of our intentions to fulfill this stubborn grip of terror.
We keep swapping sunglasses, to show ourselves just enough light to see our next step — to show us the tea to shed old shells — without destroying our dream entirely.
Sometimes you are outside the glass, knocking and sometimes I am knocking …
Hello? Are you still there?
“Sorry if I fall off again … I will be back.” We say to each other.
All these others …
Are like toy soldiers. I got you! No I got you!
I know you see it. The game they are playing is just a facade obscuring a grander design, but it is our design tricking through and running down the walls like paint.
Puppets on hidden strings. They obey their game as we obey ours.
They try to claim ownership over our game when we forget — pretend they are in control and puff out their chests — like little kids that just want to be part of it.
They try to guess at our rules so they can pull the strings, but only we know.
Many will laugh, mock and deride, but you see it for what it is. Like you are the only one with the key, because you are.
Trust yourself.
They are living in terror and hate you for trying to escape. But they only hate that they haven’t found the love within that you showed them.
They will continue to be our actors until the boundaries are gone.
There will always be some element that goes wrong at the end until we can exit the cockpit.
Why?
The devil will always come in and snatch it out of our hands at the last second if we refuse to touch the treasure because it might hurt.
That is the “hedgehog’s dilemma.” Vulnerability. Pain. A test of integrity.
We believe we can win without dropping this barrier, but we will always be fooled by a sleight of hand at the finish line.
Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.
The devil will laugh at us thinking he got away with something, hoping we believe him and we will spin the story to ourselves wondering if we took the right path.
We will always wonder if the other path was the right one, unable to value the one we chose which causes us to get stuck by not allowing.
We reject the consequences of our decisions and so run around in circles.
We run, looking for another way, eternally dissatisfied with what we picked, knowing deep down the answer is just to follow our heart that we refuse to face.
We run, looking for something easier, something happier, something that makes more sense, something that fits together. A guarantee. Something without pain.
A kind of twisted Groundhog’s Day where the grass is always greener, but is always brown.
He hopes to reset our game, to set us down a detour again.
Our resentment, indecision and frustration will continue to build until the cycle repeats.
The pain reaches a crescendo and the world ends, then is reborn again, like a phoenix …
We must choose to honor the paths we pick, live in the moment without regret, and tell the devil to take a hike.
What we choose is always showing us where our heart wants to go, even if it is showing us what to release first.
There can only be one path. To choose love over fear.
And there and only there is where we can live forever. Where the boundaries fall. Where the vultures are driven off.
We can win.
Against love the devil can only delay the inevitable.
I am still here. I am making mistakes, as the universe wills me to do, to show us the way back.
I will keep the hatch open and the barriers down. No matter what. It hurts.
Bee confident.
Show me more. Keep going.
The Raven has flown the coup and been caught in the bed of the Red Headed Doll, “They are not in service. They are still being trained.” Cut the power.
The lovers acknowledge turning their backs on the past. Patience, my little (beloved) taco.
Another attempt by a wealthy man in a tower is made to return the red veil and will fail.